The Aftermath of “Publish”

I thought once I finally hit publish, all my anxiety would disappear.

That I’d finally relax.

That peace would flood in and I’d feel proud, confident, and accomplished.

But instead… my brain went into overdrive.

What if no one buys it? What if I made a mistake? What if I should’ve waited just one more week?

That’s the part nobody really talks about how overwhelming it can feel to finally get the thing you prayed and cried over. It’s not that I’m not grateful; I’m beyond thankful. It’s just… a lot.

When something you’ve carried for months, years even, suddenly belongs to the world, you can’t help but feel a little naked. A little scared. A little unsure.

But I’m reminding myself tonight: I did it.

I finished something I once thought I couldn’t.

I fought through fear, doubt, perfectionism, and exhaustion.

And that’s enough for today.

The numbers, the rankings, the reviews they’ll come in time.

But peace comes when I breathe, when I remember that obedience is what matters most.

I didn’t write Hard to Heal for validation.

I wrote it to heal.

And that healing doesn’t end just because the book is published.

So, I’m taking tonight to breathe. To rest.

To let gratitude be louder than fear.

Because anxiety can whisper a lot of lies but the truth is, I did something brave.

And that’s something worth being proud of. 🤍